Today we are sharing a piece written by Joanna Suvarna entitled, 'Choices'.
You can find Joanna on Twitter: @JoannaSuvarna and on LinkedIn: Here
Over to Joanna:
I recently purchased a piece of art from the lovely Stefan Powell at Little Boat Designs, it arrived this morning. The title of the piece is 'Choices'. It instantly spoke to me.
So many of us are continually faced with choices, in both our personal lives and in our professional lives - small choices, big choices and everything in between: what we eat, what we wear, the work we do and the relationships we keep...... it got me to thinking about choices and relationships: some people find the perfect relationships instantly, but I would suggest that's the exception rather than the rule and that many of us have to kiss a proverbial frog or two before finding our personal or organisational Prince Charmings!
More often than not, both personal and employment relationships begin with excitement, both parties showing the best of themselves and being so involved with learning about each other that they are lost in the 'newness' of it all. But then, as with the majority of relationships, after some time the newness fades and the reality of each party begins to become glaringly obvious: the idiosyncrasies, the flaws, the boundaries and the differences in core values. In some relationships both sides may compromise, make slight adjustments to their positions, listen and learn, but often the incompatibility is just too much to overcome and we are forced to make a choice: to stay or not to stay, that is the question!
Perhaps you're like me and a decision isn't always easy to make? A bit of a hoper? Hoping that things will change, that things will get better, that the relationship will somehow miraculously improve, that the other party will finally actually listen to what you are saying and take action, that you will be able to find enough common ground to build a stronger structure, believing in promises of change to increase the sense of belonging and togetherness - hoping and holding on to the, sometimes very bitter, end!
Being a hoper is a choice, albeit sometimes a very naive one.
The quote above was shared recently by Thrive Global and in the main, when it comes to personal and employment relationships, in my opinion, it rings very true: if you are not changing it, you are choosing it. (This of course applies to those of us who are in the privileged position to be able to make choices and changes, I realise that many are not in such a position).
I feel very fortunate in that I have always been in a position where I have had choices. When I was a lone parent, my choices when it came to work were restricted to a much greater extent than they are now and I had to find a new job role before I could make the choice to leave an organisation, even if I knew there was no future and the way things were done went against my values. I didn't have what Lior Locher wrote about and shared in a lovely piece this morning: "wiggle room", but I was fortunate in that I did always have a choice: a choice to stay or to leave, to look for something else or not.
Ultimately, in my opinion, the most important choice we can make is to show kindness to ourselves first and foremost: sticking to our core values, listening to our souls to find answers and not negotiating on our worth, no matter how great the incentives, how big the crowd or how much of a hoper we might be! In work and in life, choose YOU and let the positive ripples that come from that choice spread.
I choose myself. I choose to stick to my values. I choose integrity and kindness over being nice.
What are you choosing?
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