 This week is Anti-Bullying Week in the UK and the topic is something that is extremely close to our hearts in the #BeTheRipple team. To show our support for the wonderful work that the charity BulliesOut do around the topic of bullying, we have decided to post out pieces every day this week, amplifying voices, sharing stories and exploring the way that bullying makes people feel. We are happy to share a collection of poems with associated discussion topics and activities for use in classroom settings. The pieces were originally posted over a period of time by Andrea Wilson, her husband Harold Jarche has shared the work with us for publishing. The poems and associated discussion topics/activities are targeting schools, however I can see the value of using them in different settings too, including at home with our families and as points for our own personal development and reflection. The older I get, the more I realise that the topic of bullying is an issue where so many of us need development - do we always know when bullying is taking place? Do we know what to do if we are a target, or we see someone else being targeted? Are we displaying bullying behaviours ourselves? I would urge people to read through these poems and questions, reflecting upon them and opening up conversations within educational establishments, workplaces and homes. Over to Andrea: Poems, Discussion Topics and Activities for Teaching About Bullying A Word of CautionIf you believe that you have never encountered a bully you are gravely mistaken. Perhaps you didn’t recognize them. Trust me, they abound. They wreak havoc. They often don’t register on the radar-screen, but they are there. They are not limited to the playground, nor to the work place; they are in our families and in our social circles. They need help. So do their victims. Bullies are simply a symptom of our society. That does not mean we should be complacent. Because I have encountered them in many roles and circumstances, I was drawn to write about them…initially as a cathartic activity, but that quickly evolved into an educational tool. These poems and the related activities are designed to be thought provoking, challenging and sometimes they can be very powerful. I have witnessed the impact they can have on certain individuals, particularly children. Although I do caution you to be sensitive to the reactions they might provoke, I wouldn’t want you to shy away from using them as stimulants for discussion. I really believe that it is vitally important that we discuss these issues directly and honestly. For far too long there has been a shroud of secrecy surrounding the subject. If however, you feel unprepared to deal with emotional responses to the poems and activities, I would advise you seek guidance before doing so. Bullying experiences can inflict deep wounds and leave individuals very fragile. Sometimes opening up a Pandora’s box can do more harm than good. In closing, I would like to add that this is a work in progress. I am not sure where it is leading. I would very much appreciate your feed-back. Thank you, Andrea What to doWhat to do when your child just hurts? Day after day he’s scared, he’s afraid. It’s daunting the power a bully exerts. Should I take a stance and dissuade? Dissuade all those who still believe, Boys must be boys, there’s nothing amiss. And girls are so harmless; it’s just so naive. The adults at school are remiss. Remiss in their task to protect. Kids are at risk; as parents, we know. When they don’t intervene, I call that neglect. A failure of faith we bestow. Bestow on those powers that be, To ensure they’re safe; they’re in their care. When we send kids to school, we want an emcee. A person who’s fair and aware. Aware that children are daunted, By not knowing to whom they can turn. We tuck them in bed, their nightmares are haunted. But next day, to school they return. Return to some kind of torture: Name-calling, punches, gossip or lies. He needs a supporter, a rule-enforcer. Someone to help and advise. To advise the child and me too. Pleas for assistance fall on deaf ears. We need some help; how can we know what to do? Alone we can’t allay his fears. His fears are well founded and real. His friends are supportive but afraid. We’re at our wits end as to whom to appeal. Will anyone come to our aid? Topics for Discussion:
Classroom Activities:
Imagine a WorldImagine a world Where no one is different. No one is different from you. If your eyes are brown, My eyes are brown, And no one else’s are blue. Imagine a world Where we eat the same food. Everyone eats tofu. Forget a good steak, A burger or cake, We all have to eat soy-stew. Imagine a world Where we listen to music. You and I hear the same song. Forget the hip-hop, Or reggae or pop, It’s Beethoven all day long. Now into this world, Where all guys like girls And all girls are gaga for guys, Present a gay boy, And a lesbian too. It’s a shock and a big surprise. But… Imagine a world, Where people can be, Unique and the best that they can be. Where the norms and rules, Are only for fools, Conforming is dull as can be. Imagine a world, Where he can love him, And the girl can also love her. It’s not my business. Do you really care, Which sex is anyone’s lover? Life without choices, Life without freedom, Is to live a life as a clone. To pretend I am you, And he and she too, I’d rather live all alone. We are so lucky, To live in a place, And live in an era of choice. Let’s embrace those gifts, Avoid all those rifts. And then we all can rejoice. Topics for Discussion:
Activities:
Why Me?I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. Why me? -- I mind my own business. I stay out of their business. Why me? -- I’m so insignificant. They are oh so significant. Why me? -- I don’t hurt a flea. Yet they cause me to flee. So why -- I want them to stop. But they never will stop. So why? -- I go ask my Dad. And he really got mad. He said: -- It’s not about you. And it’s all about them. Just be. -- It’s they who don’t get it. But you’ve totally got it. Just be. -- Give them some space. A chance to save face. Just be. -- Until then be strong. It is they who are wrong. Just be. -- I tried to stop asking “why me”? And I tried to simply “just be”. You know? -- On some days I’m strong. Feel someday I’ll belong. You know? -- On days when that just doesn’t work. I feel such a pitiful jerk. You know? -- They still do not get it. But they think that they’ve got it. You know? -- Because I’m intact. Doing better in fact, Since rising above all that shit. Topics for Discussion:
Activities:
Thank you so much to Andrea for allowing us to share her work and to Harold for signposting.
The poems were initially posted on Andrea's Wordpress site and you can find the poems we've shared, along with others: Here Opening up conversations around the topic of bullying is so important in every setting so that we can move towards a world where there is zero tolerance. It starts with each of us. If you are not yet a member of the #BeTheRipple community, we would love you to join us. You can find us on Twitter: @BeTheRipple2020 and/or in our LinkedIn community: Here Thank you once again to Andrea for allowing us to share her work, such useful resources for exploring issues surrounding bullying. If you have been impacted by bullying or harassment of any kind, please speak to someone you can trust at work or outside of work and get some advice from your organisation or externally. You do not have to put up with people treating you unfairly or unkindly, at work or in any other setting. You can find expert guidance at the following links: https://bulliesout.com/need-support/employees/ https://www.acas.org.uk/if-youre-treated-unfairly-at-work/being-bullied https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment https://www.cipd.co.uk/knowledge/fundamentals/emp-law/harassment/factsheet#15763 https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/bullying-in-the-workplace/ https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/employees.html If you would like to submit a blog for this series, please send your work via email to: hello@joannasuvarna.co.uk. Stay safe Jo
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